Dutch memes thread! 🇳🇱

[Hitcore]

@Hitcore . Kindly submit your request-in triplicates-To the Welcoming Committee. No later then midnite tonight.
Kind Regards,
M.

Well, @Mars ... I wasn't able to make that deadline, but what I can do is make a thread dedicated to Dutch memes! Of course in some (or most) instances this may need some explanation and context, if not translations, that's why I have come up with the following iceberg:



We'll start out with some pretty mainstream and light self-explanatory stuff, such as funny language quirks, and well-known stereotypes.
Gradually we'll work out way down to below surface, where the memes get more obscure and more crazy, but are still essential to fully understand and appreciate Dutch lore and humor. Don't worry, I'll hold your hand along the entire way.

There is only so much one can put in an image like that, so it won't be limited to just the things on there, that is just a selection of the top of my head! We'll see where things go. Also, for the sake of keeping the main focus on humor, I intend to keep politics as much as possible out of this. Especially since in 11 days from now there are the main elections in The Netherlands, else that would take the focus away from the more funny stuff. If anything interesting happens in the coming weeks with said elections, I'll post about it in the appropriate forum section.

That being said, below the green line (>if only you knew how bad things really are), the most bottom part of the image, things get a little NSFW there. You are more than welcome to ask me about any of that by private message, including things that go beyond the funnies.

Without further ado, let's fire this thread away! Music, maestro!

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[Hitcore]

So yeah, let's start off nice 'n easy

The thing about Dutch is that it is one of the closest languages to English. So oftentimes, to the anglophone, simple phrases are in some sort of uncanny valley, where you basically get what it means, but the spelling looks almost unreal.

 

[Mars]

ok, the four words in the meme man spelling were easy, but when I looked at the green line, I could only understand it because you have translated it.
As I said, unless you know the context, you can't just read a Dutch sentence and guess its meaning. Also, it looks like Dutch and German are closer to each other then they are to English.
I realise it may look to us as if the Dutch spelling is weird, but hey, I bet they think our spelling is weird, and they are justified in thinking so.
I mean, English spelling makes totally no sense at times. Just think about the four letters 'ough' pronounced 'F', like in 'rough' or 'tough'. Crazy.

 

[Hitcore]

Also, it looks like Dutch and German are closer to each other then they are to English.

They are! But sometimes you have to watch out a bit. Let me show you what I mean:

I realise it may look to us as if the Dutch spelling is weird, but hey, I bet they think our spelling is weird, and they are justified in thinking so.

Not really. This is because of asymmetrical exposure. Anglophones aren't usually exposed much to Dutch so your wow-reaction may be higher as a result, while Dutchies are exposed to English all the time, even at a young age, so we're almost as used to it as you are. For example: we don't dub our media, we use subtitling, contrary to the Germans and the French. This contributes in resulting that the Dutch have the highest proficiency in English in Europe outside of Great Britain and Ireland.

I mean, English spelling makes totally no sense at times. Just think about the four letters 'ough' pronounced 'F', like in 'rough' or 'tough'. Crazy.

What's crazier to me is that some words in English that are spelled the same have different pronunciations.
Lead (to guide vs the type of metal)
Bow (to bend forward vs or )
Read (present tense vs past tense)

That rarely happens in Dutch as Dutch is more phonetic than English so pronunciation doesn't vary for identical spellings. At most stress placement can shift meaning, but it's minimal.
For example, the word "voorkomen":
/ˈvoːrkoːmə{n}/ → “to occur”
/voːrˈkoːmə{n}/ → “to prevent”
As you can see, it's veeeery subtle. That's just about the extend of our heteronyms.

I hope this sort of thing satisfies the language nerd in you, Mars.

 

[Hitcore]

Earlier this weekend someone pulled a prank on Robin van Persie. Just as RvP exited this DIY shop, a handyman on a scissor lift pressed his button for some well-timed beeps. This was the result:

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After the beep, the honest RvP walked back and asked a store employee: "was ik dat?" (was that me?)

Nice classic prank!

 

[Mars]

@Hitcore oh my, where shall I start....
you know, that example you gave about the different meanings of identical words in Dutch and German, I have never come across anything like that and I really find it quite fascinating, don't know why. But....now, maybe is naughty of me to say so, but if you think about it: 'huren'=whores=rentals....there is a connection there, don't you think?
Sluts, especially those brothel denizens, do serve a purpose for sure! You could say they are useful, no?
Now why is it, that the red light district of Amsterdam springs to mind I wonder....

And yes, English has its fair share of words that spell and pronounce the same, but have different meanings; and those that spell the same but differ in pronunciation and meanings. Confusing for a novice.

Another facet of English is that it is rich in idioms; I wonder, is Dutch rich in idioms? I think idioms add to a language being colorful.
Sometimes, it is an idiom that 'hits the nail on the head' as it were. And therefore it is quite often the idiom that says it better then a whole lot of sentences. It is short, descriptive and to the point. I like idioms.

Has Dutch an idiom similar to our 'kick the bucket'?

 

[Hitcore]

but if you think about it: 'huren'=whores=rentals....there is a connection there, don't you think?

I haven't thought of it yet, but now that you mention it: yeah, I can see that link now alright.

brothel denizens, do serve a purpose for sure! You could say they are useful, no?
Now why is it, that the red light district of Amsterdam springs to mind I wonder....

Being a Dutchman in Denmark, sometimes when Danes find out where I'm from they ask me about hookers and weed. As if every single Dutchman is into those things. My answer usually is: "we have those things mostly for the tourists. Like Danes, for example."

'hits the nail on the head'

We have that idiom too.
"Het slaat de spijker op zijn kop."
Seriously!

Has Dutch an idiom similar to our 'kick the bucket'?

Our version is "de pijp uitgaan" (going out of the pipe). Another variant is "de pijp aan Maarten geven" (giving the pipe to Maarten).

And therefore it is quite often the idiom that says it better then a whole lot of sentences. It is short, descriptive and to the point. I like idioms.

I agree! Enjoy some of our wacky expressions + funny words!