Have you ever been banned from a public place?

[AllThingsTech]

I just got banned from the library

So, here goes:

It all started because of a goldfish.


I was minding my own business at the public library — my favorite place in the whole town. It smelled like old paper and coffee, and I always sat in the corner next to the “Philosophy & Self-Help” section because nobody ever went there. That’s where I did my best thinking.


Anyway, my little sister had just won a goldfish at the town fair. She named him “Professor Swim.” I was babysitting her and, by extension, Professor Swim, when I decided to drop by the library. I figured it would be fine if I kept him in a sealed jar. Fish don’t make noise. What could go wrong?


Turns out, everything.


The moment I set him on the table, a beam of sunlight hit the jar, magnifying the light right onto the wall behind me. Suddenly, the “Philosophy & Self-Help” section was on fire — well, smoking, technically, but that was enough to send the head librarian, into full emergency mode. She screamed something about “combustible wisdom” and smacked the wall with a copy of War and Peace until the smoke disappeared.


In the chaos, Professor Swim’s jar tipped over.


Water everywhere. Books soaked. A librarian’s worst nightmare.


The next day, I was summoned. The head librarian adjusted her glasses and said, in the kind of voice people use at funerals, “For the safety of our collection, you are hereby banned from here until further notice.”


So now, I do my reading at the park. The sunlight’s still there, but at least if something catches fire, it’s just grass.


Sometimes I walk by the library and see the head librarian through the window, polishing the “No Pets Allowed” sign that she installed right after the “incident.” I swear I can see a tiny fish symbol drawn in Sharpie at the bottom.


And you know what? I can’t even be mad. I kind of earned it.

So, do you have such a story?

 

[Hitcore]

Oh my god. What a story. Poor Professor Swim. Great name, though.

Since you're doing your reading and thinking at the park now, I gather that there's only one library in your town, is that correct? This tells me that you live in a rather small town. So do I. Just 1 library. But it is also my favorite place in town. I'll remember, however, to not bring any jarred goldfish!

 

[AllThingsTech]

Oh my god. What a story. Poor Professor Swim. Great name, though.

Since you're doing your reading and thinking at the park now, I gather that there's only one library in your town, is that correct? This tells me that you live in a rather small town. So do I. Just 1 library. But it is also my favorite place in town. I'll remember, however, to not bring any jarred goldfish!

Yeah

Gosh, another ban, already, now.

I just got banned from a serene botanical garden where people usually go to relax, meditate, and observe rare plants that look like they’re permanently judging you.


It all started when I joined a “Pollination Parade,” an event where visitors dress as bees and butterflies to educate kids about ecology. My costume, however, was… ambitious. I had crafted an enormous bumblebee suit complete with exaggerated wings powered by tiny, whirring fans. It looked glorious in my apartment. In public, it behaved like a rogue aircraft.


During the parade, a gust of wind caught the wings at just the wrong angle. Suddenly I wasn’t walking—I was sailing, wobbling uncontrollably across the quiet zen section, where people were attempting to meditate near a koi pond. I ricocheted off a stone lantern, skidded across a bed of rare moss (apparently it only grows once every thousand years or something), and plunged halfway into the pond like a very confused aquatic insect.


The koi were alarmed. The visitors were alarmed. The staff was extremely alarmed.


After rescuing me from the water and disconnecting my buzzing wing motors, the head botanist gently informed me that while my “enthusiasm for pollinators was impressive,” the Conservatory would prefer I express that enthusiasm from outside the premises for the foreseeable future.


So yes—banned. Not for misbehavior, really, but for becoming an accidental, oversized, semi-flight-capable hazard to ancient moss and contemplative strangers.

 

[Hitcore]

I had to read this twice -nay- thrice. The fact that you put actual little wing motors a friggin' bumblebee outfit is super mega nerdy by itself. I would have loved to see it. Hell, I'd even join you in on it, maybe like a huge sunflower (I'm quite tall). Then, as we'd give the people of your town a fine demonstration of some sweet sweet pollination, undoubtedly both our costumes would catch that wind and we'd be swirling straight through the meditating people all over the ancient moss, eventually ending up banned together. The whole scene would fit well in a slapstick film!

Seriously, though, I for one think it's amazing what you've done. Us 'tistic people have a thing for going above and beyond, if we feel like it, otherwise we can't be arsed at all. In this case you went over the top and made a spectacle of it. Pity you got banned, but in my book you did something pretty awesome.

Not shackled by society's expectations you dare to bee yourself and to bee free.

 

[Hitcore]

So yes—banned. Not for misbehavior, really

Alright, so now that you have bravely shared two stories about getting banned in almost cartoonishly manners, I'd say it's time to chime in. In my case, however, as I am not as innocent as you are, it is because of misbehavior.

We're going back to 2001. Still a teenager, 19 years old. I was hanging out with quite the rough crowd at the time. A firm of about 40 people, attending all matches of our football club, Sparta Rotterdam, home and away. Every now and then we'd get into a ruck with the lads of the towns we were visiting. This particular afternoon was chaotic. I remember the weather being nice, everybody was drunk. More drunk than usual. The opponent wasn't to be seen this time, despite we were making quite a fuss on their main town square. That caused us to feel a bit cocky and we went on sort of a vandalism spree. Eventually the police caught on and I got arrested for having done my share.

Now, that story by itself isn't a very nice one. But it does get silly after this. Years after this.
Alright, so at the time I got a nationwide stadium ban for a year. Which I have violated a few times, but that aside. And I got fined a couple of hundred euros. But if you haven't noticed by now, this was a period in time where I clearly didn't give a rat's ass about anything, so I never paid the fine. Which added up over the course of the following years.

Then, in 2004, I was to take a flight to Dallas, Texas. At the airport, during a security check, my name popped up as an offender who still had a fine to pay. The 3 digit fine was now 4 digits after three years of ignoring notices. In order for me to take my flight, I had to pay on the spot. Obviously I didn't have that amount of cash on me, so I had to do some time for it. 2 weeks, all and all.

The detention center was close to the airport. A bit of irony was rising at that center when I got my courtyard time, every prisoner gets 15 minutes of fresh air time per day and they give you one cigarette. As I was standing there looking up the sky, I saw a plane just taking off from the nearby airport. Then I looked at my cigarette.... it was one of those cheap Aldi brands: Texas. Irony rubbed that one right in my face, lol.

After those two weeks, eventually I was able to take my flight to Texas, and that went reasonably without any hassle. Except that I also almost got myself into trouble at Dallas-Fort Worth Airport as I had a smoked sausage in my luggage, a certain Dutch delicacy which I brought for my uncle, and apparently I wasn't allowed to import meats or something. Luckily no consequences there, the officer let me off with a warning!

 

[AllThingsTech]

Hehe, seems I hit the core of deceit here for @Hitcore ! This is all AI-generated fiction

 

[Hitcore]

Did you pick up on my AI generated posts given you mentioned “cartoonish” posts, and were you just playing along?

Yes and no. I did not think that these stories were AI fabricated. But what I did think is that they were exaggerated, which I went along with as I do always appreciate a certain sense of extra flair!