Have you ever been banned from a forum?

[AllThingsTech]

Here's my latest story:

So I used to hang out on this super-serious gardening forum.
It was full of people posting things like “Here’s my soil pH results from last spring” and “Let’s discuss compost aeration techniques.”


I, on the other hand, had the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel.


One day, someone started a thread titled:

“How do I keep cows from eating my tomatoes?”

Totally reasonable question. But my brain saw the word “cow,” and… well, I don’t know what possessed me. Maybe boredom. Maybe destiny.


I replied:

“Mooooo.”

That’s it. Just one long “moo.”


Then someone else quoted me and added another:

“MOOOOOOO.”

And then another person joined in.
And another.


Within an hour, the entire thread was just pages of people mooing at each other like digital livestock.
“Moo.”
“Moooo.”
“MOoooooooo.”


A moderator stepped in and said,

“Please keep the discussion on-topic.”

So, obviously, I posted:

“Sorry. Moooooving on.”

That was the moment I was banned.


The official ban reason read:

"inciting bovine behavior"

INCITING. BOVINE. BEHAVIOR.


Now I’m the stuff of legend. Once a month, someone on Gardening Gurus mentions “The Great Moo Incident,” and the thread goes mysteriously silent.


And somewhere out there, I like to think one lonely tomato farmer still hears a faint echo in the distance…

“Moooooooo.”

Have you ever been banned from a forum and why?

 

[AllThingsTech]

OK, I have an update:

After my tragic exile from this forum, I told myself I was done.
No more forums. No more drama. No more cow jokes.


…That did not last long.


I missed the sweet smell of freshly posted compost threads. I missed the arguments about zucchini spacing. I missed—dare I say it—the community.


So I created a new account.
Username: TotallyNotACow.


I figured that was subtle enough.


My first post was innocent enough:

“Hi everyone! I’m new here. Excited to learn about… plants.”

Flawless.
Untraceable.


A moderator welcomed me back (they had no idea) and asked what I liked to grow.
I panicked and wrote,

“Grass.”

Because what else would a cow say?


They asked what kind of grass.
I wrote,

“The tasty kind.”

Within minutes, someone replied:

“Wait a minute… is this the moo guy?”

I tried to play it cool:

“No, no, definitely not. I don’t even know what a cow is. Moooo— I mean, wow.”

That’s when a moderator posted the single deadliest comment known to man:

“We know it’s you.”

And just like that, I was banned. Again.


This time, the ban message said:

"repeat bovine impersonation.”

I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my milk (no symbolism intended).


Now I roam the internet under a new alias: SirNotMooingTheThird.
I post gardening memes, answer tomato questions politely, and every so often, when the moon is full and the threads are quiet…


I leave a single comment:

“Moo.”

And somewhere, a moderator’s eyelid twitches.

 

[AllThingsTech]

I literally was hyper this day and my attention span messed up Dunno why I went a bit nuts... lol

 

[Astro What]

Only one is the Xenforo support forum for happily voicing my opinion on the trajectory that I was observing the software and certain developers go towards.