The rise of FAFO parenting

[Retro]

WTF is FAFO?! It means fuck around and find out. It's a new style of tough parenting that seems a bit harsh to me. Sure, parents should be firm with their kids when they misbehave, but I think this is going too far. Note that this is separate from abusive parenting, though it could be considered as straying into that territory in some cases.

A couple of weeks ago, a video posted on TikTok by Paige Carter, a mother in Florida, went viral. Carter explained that she had thrown her daughter’s iPad out of the window when she had been misbehaving on the way to school, and she films herself retrieving the tablet, now with a cracked screen. The video has been watched 4.9m times, and Carter was congratulated in the comments, with one person writing “Learning Fafo at an early age: top tier parenting.” Welcome to the parenting trend that doesn’t seem to be disappearing: “Fuck around and find out.”

In another video, when a small child announces he is going to leave home, his mother says “see ya”, shuts the front door behind him, and turns off the outside light – then opens the door to him screaming and pounding to be let back in (it has been liked 1.5m times). He had learned, said his mother, “the meaning of Fafo”.

Remember that kids are impressionable, especially really small ones, so these two examples, especially the second one could traumatise the child and there's never a justification for that. A kid doesn't react like that unless he feels abandoned and really scared. Why make them feel like that just because they've been naughty, or perceived to be naughty?

I think all this teaches them is to avoid pissing off their parents because they're scared of reprisals rather than because they understand right from wrong, so they live in fear and develop resentment towards them. Not a basis for a healthy relationship.

Have a read of this article and see what you think?

The rise of Fafo parenting: is this the end of gentle child rearing?

Mothers on social media are advocating a tough, no-nonsense approach to parenting. Does this teach children important lessons – or just make them feel isolated and ashamed?

www.theguardian.com

EDIT: I've just seen that video (click link in the quote) with the boy locked out and it definitely looks like abuse to me to let him get into that state. All he wanted was to be physically close to his mummy and she did that to him. Nasty and uncalled for. The comments against that video all criticise it, too.

 

[live627]

Remember that kids are small manipulators and if you give in just a little they think they can get away with anything so she showed him who’s the boss.

 

[Retro]

Sure, but that's just cruel, there's much kinder ways to set them straight. And remember, all he wanted was a cuddle, so he did nothing wrong anyway. That woman turning off the light was tending towards psycho, too. Nice touch, bitch.