Online friends vs real life friends

[AllThingsTech]

Do you feel like real life friendships are always more important than online friendships no natter what, or do they both have their place?

I have mixed feelings - while I find it important to have ppl to go out and do fun things with, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the ppl I meet irl are any more valuable than ppl i meet online. Imo closeness is all about vibes and personality m, hut one thing I will say that imo, a forum alone can’t bring about that level of friendship as you can’t truly get to know one another - I for one need to do a video call.

While I enjoy the structured interactions on forums where I can discuss any topic, I feel like I can’t necessarily do so in real life, but I can go out to events. You also never know someone is trustworthy online either, without a video call at the very least!

What about you?

 

[Hitcore]

I voted 'neither' because I literally do not fully feel connected, to anyone, with perhaps one or two exceptions. Though it must be said that it is mostly the people I know IRL that have caused desillusion in me. There are some online people I do relate to a little bit better, based on interests, or world views. But even that I struggle with at times, I must truthfully admit.

I force myself to interact with people. Now this sounds like punishment, of course it's not all that bad, I do enjoy it to some extent, especially if there's room for my quirky sense of humor. But I'm a nutter deep inside. I resent the world at large, and I'm somewhat of a misanthrope. Not everyone sees this, because I do not intend to be a disruptive factor around individuals who mean well with me. Like you guys, for example, I can see that. It would be wrong for me to take out my woes on any of you. The me that you get to see is the filtered me. I am not fully right in the head, and it is hard to press the send button for this one.

But seriously, I wish that I have figured out 25 years ago that I should leave my hometown to live in the middle of nowhere. It would have saved me so much trouble, and pain. There is a reason why being chased by monsters in one form or another is a reoccurring dream for me.

I wish I didn't know what I know about this world. If only you knew how bad things really are. I won't go too deep into that here, I'm making this thread dark enough already as it is, for which I am sorry by the way. But it's causing me to wish that the internet would never have come to existence. Technologically we should have never advanced beyond the 1930s, all things considered.

Often I consider going dark. To go offline, and to cut off even more ties with IRL people. To really live alone. Some people tremble at the idea of being alone. But I love my solitude, my energy is never leeched, my feelings are never hurt. I treat myself well, I entertain myself, but it is peaceful. It is when I am with others that I feel at my loneliest.

This had to come out. I was waiting for the right time and the right place, I guess. This also doesn't mean I'm gone after this post. Far from it. But one day. There are a few things I need to have done first, creatively. To get it out of my system. But even that has become increasingly difficult to produce.

I don't want to spend the last part of my life looking at a screen, or getting my energy drained by the people around me. Those things have happened enough to me to fill several lifetimes. That, and excitement. I've done things you wouldn't believe, or find simply wild. I have had quite enough of that. Call it a retirement of sorts.

Thank you for listening.

 

[Retro]

I am not fully right in the head, and it is hard to press the send button for this one.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time, Hitcore. I think you were pretty brave to post this and am glad we've not seen the last of you here. Whatever's going on with you, I don't think you're "not right in the head", filtered version of you or not, ie you are right in the head. Things are just bothering you greatly and hence interfering with your life, is all.

If you wanna sound off more about these things that are bothering you, feel free to discuss them on NZ, but given how personal they are, they might be better out of the public gaze where even unregistered randos can see them, instead in DM with myself and perhaps include anyone else you feel could lend a sympathetic ear. Totally your call, but we're here for you.

 

[Retro]

@AllThingsTech to help clarify for you, my post above is an example of quoting a tiny piece of a long post, yet replying to the whole post. Much neater to look at and doesn't waste storage space.

 

[Retro]

I voted for both as they're both important and fill different, but overlapping needs and roles. Also, forums are available 24/7 while friends aren't as they've got their own life to lead and rather inconveniently, need sleep, tsk.

 

[Hitcore]

need sleep, tsk

Goodnight Retro, sleep well.
I'll reply later, I need to sleep too.
Thank you.

 

[Retro]

I'll reply later, I need to sleep too.

tsk, so inconsiderate!

 

[Mars]

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time, Hitcore............

..........Totally your call, but we're here for you.

Hitcore, I can only second Retro's reply to your post.
I would also like to add, that me too, I do not equate 'alone' with 'loneliness'.
Some folks never feel lonely, period. And they certainly do not feel lonely when they are alone, because when they are alone they are in good company.

 

[Hitcore]

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time, Hitcore. (....) Things are just bothering you greatly and hence interfering with your life, is all.

Thank you, Retro. I do appreciate this. But I am afraid that it is more than just a hard time. It's who I am. There is a great deal of internal conflict, between my authentic self and the persona I project. That persona tries to be compatible with people. But the other self... not so much. Due to underlying anxiety and unresolved trauma.

I would also like to add, that me too, I do not equate 'alone' with 'loneliness'.
Some folks never feel lonely, period. And they certainly do not feel lonely when they are alone, because when they are alone they are in good company.

Mars, if I would figure out how to make a living online, I'd never even leave the house, groceries aside. I've even built a fence with barbed wire around my house, to really signal "go away". I realize I'm extreme in this.

My posts in this thread are cathartic confessions, a way for me to externalize my inner turmoil and existential fatigue. It’s both a cry for understanding and a declaration of self-awareness. Ultimately I'm seeking peace.

we're here for you.

Thank you both, Retro and Mars. This does not go by unnoticed. There's maybe a reason why I open up here instead of somewhere else. I realize that this is a public forum, anyone can read this. But that's okay. I feel safe enough here to share such vulnerability. NZ is very niche and I see it as a place where there is a certain calmness. I appreciate how Mars, for example, also shares my views on being alone, and lets me know this to make me feel more at ease. These aspects help. On mainstream social media I would not even share a single percent of the personal things I am sharing here.

I voted for both as they're both important and fill different, but overlapping needs and roles. Also, forums are available 24/7 while friends aren't as they've got their own life to lead and rather inconveniently, need sleep, tsk.

And I just want to say that I completely understand you with this.

 

[Hitcore]