Shitlawns: the tyranny of fake grass

Retro

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I was all-in for evergeen "maintenance free" fake grass until I read this article. It's actually an abomination that's spreading across the country, truly worthy of the Twitter protest account, Shitlawns.

With a huge loss of biodiversity, they create lifeless gardens that aren't even maintenance free. Oh and in summer, they're furnaces so you can't even sit out in the garden!

Don't do it, kids. Have a proper garden with real grass, instead.

Artificial “lawns” turn out to be high maintenance after all. They need to be watered to cool them down. They need special cleaning products to get rid of smells and stains. You even have to vacuum them to get rid of leaves.

Last week, Sir James Bevan, chief executive of the Environment Agency, invoked Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring and warned of the catastrophe facing Britain’s wildlife.

The biodiversity crisis, he said, “poses just as great an existential risk to humanity as climate change”, and called for nature-based solutions to reverse shocking declines in wildlife.


Fake grass.jpg


 

Tiffany

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I immediately thought of bacteria when I saw your post. :eek: There's nothing better for the eco system than real grass. Nature takes care of what it needs to naturally.
 

Arantor

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So fun fact: the grass will keep a pocket of air around it - around the blades of grass. In real grass this is actually convenient, helps the plant manage its heating (and overheating is managed through convecting the heat through the moisture in the leaves).

But this stuff has the same sorts of properties as dried vegetation in that it can’t disperse the heat because no moisture, but instead has a propensity to melt because it’s plastic…
 

Arantor

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That I can’t speak to, I have no sense of smell (even pre covid). But I get hay fever so tend to avoid ”nature” where possible.
 

Arantor

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I live in a flat, I have no garden to put shitlawn in ;)

It’s one of the perks of living in central Brighton, theres enough green to not feel like I’m living in a concrete hellscape but the sea air improved my hay fever immeasurably from the suburban concrete hellscape I grew up in.
 

Arantor

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Right, I'm gonna buy you a small patch of it to enjoy on your windowsill in all its evergreen nastiness muhaha!!! :ROFLMAO:
I literally live in a basement. Most of the windows I have are small and look out to another wall a few feet away. The largest window I have is in the living room which also looks out to a wall, and the garden beyond is upstairs's.
 

Retro

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That sounds perfect then: the perfect statement of its imperfection.
 

STIJL

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In Palm Springs, CA where I’m located artificial grass is very popular, being in the desert growing real grass painfully difficult and a huge water waster. I personally don’t like the heat faux grass attracts and filth from dog pee and poop that tends to leave a permanent odor if not addressed quickly.
 

Retro

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In Palm Springs, CA where I’m located artificial grass is very popular, being in the desert growing real grass painfully difficult and a huge water waster. I personally don’t like the heat faux grass attracts and filth from dog pee and poop that tends to leave a permanent odor if not addressed quickly.
Oh boy, I'm sure that's revolting for the look and smell.

Artificial grass is one of those things that looks great when brand new and pristine. Once it degrades in any way, including simply being dirty, it's the worst.
 

Tiffany

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Thanks for sharing...bummer I can't watch it, looked interesting. :)

Got this message and this is a first for me:
This content is not available in your location.

content na rs.png
 

Crims

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Thanks for sharing...bummer I can't watch it, looked interesting. :)

Got this message and this is a first for me:
This content is not available in your location.

View attachment 1276
I fill the need for a good mini garden through buying aloe vera plants. Wishing for the end of plastic seems to be a fools endeavor.
 

Tiffany

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I fill the need for a good mini garden through buying aloe vera plants. Wishing for the end of plastic seems to be a fools endeavor.

A mini garden with aloe vera plants sounds nice. :) My one and only inside plant is Ally the Aloe. We've had it for two years.
I use a rubber band to support it's longer stems. :)

aloe rsa.jpg

I've gotten to the point since the pandemic and now inflation that I've gone back to using dishes instead of disposable plastics and paper plates. I've also changed how I clean with more microbial cleaning cloths rather then paper towels. ~ Earth Stewardship ~ Like you said, it's a fools endeavor but at least I know I'm doing my part, even if it's a tiny contribution.​
 

Crims

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A mini garden with aloe vera plants sounds nice. :) My one and only inside plant is Ally the Aloe. We've had it for two years.
I use a rubber band to support it's longer stems. :)

View attachment 1278

I've gotten to the point since the pandemic and now inflation that I've gone back to using dishes instead of disposable plastics and paper plates. I've also changed how I clean with more microbial cleaning cloths rather then paper towels. ~ Earth Stewardship ~ Like you said, it's a fools endeavor but at least I know I'm doing my part, even if it's a tiny contribution.​
I love Earth Stewardship. edited this: I impact the world around me, with the way my actions interact with 'em. Ally the Aloe seems ok. The shape is great.
As a side note, I would like to join the comment about fake grass. I've never heard of him before, tho his writing seems accurate.
 
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Retro

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Oh, okay cool....I'll look into that, thank you!:).
If you don't have a VPN yet, I can recommend Surfshark which I use and am very happy with.

Great price, lots of great features like split tunnelling and can be used on an unlimited number of PCs.
 

Tiffany

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If you don't have a VPN yet, I can recommend Surfshark which I use and am very happy with.

Great price, lots of great features like split tunnelling and can be used on an unlimited number of PCs.
I don't have a VPN so I'll look up Surfshark, thank you! :)
 

Mars

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Oh I so loathe artificial grass. My garden is given over to local plants: otherwise known as 'weeds'.
They are beloved of birds and bees. I leave the seed heads on the tall Teasels all winter long, ready supply of seeds-on-the-go for goldfinches.
.....and after a rain fall, just walk out into a wild patch and smell the earth; or, on occasions, after a rain fall, you can smile at the birds, especially pigeons, sitting in their bird bath (no joke), feathers all fluffed up.
There is nothing like the real thing. Many marvelous things happening in a suburban garden.
 
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